What a bloody mess! How could I have been so bloody stupid? Haven't I learnt anything from the disaster that was Risa? Doesn't look like it does it. I sit and stare into my cup of tea, my thoughts on the recent dressing down by the Captain. He was right to be angry with us and I feel so guilty about Travis. I'll see him when Phlox says he's up to visitors. He could be dead and while he was suffering God knows what Commander Tucker and I were snooping around in places we shouldn't be. We're lucky we're not dead!

Of course it's his fault. How that man gained the rank of Commander and Chief Engineer and retained them defies logic, he's a bloody trouble magnet! Twice now he's got me into a situation, which has been both embarrassing and dangerous for my career and I can't afford a third time. In less than a year, my completely unblemished Starfleet record has been tarnished and it's all because of Mister Tucker. Why do I listen to him? Why do I let him lead me into trouble? I know why.. I love him.

I know that he's straight though as he told me in the shuttlepod, he's confident that there will be a Charles Tucker the Fourth someday and I know that when he meets the woman of his dreams, it'll break my heart. I did think he liked T'Pol but after our drunken conversation I realised he has no interest in her, although she does have a nice bum! I think he likes Hoshi though and I've watched how he looks at her and how she looks at him. There's definitely an attraction, but when I mentioned it to her, she just smiled and told me had his eye on someone else.

As for my predicament I've decided that the next time he asks me do anything other than my usual duties I'm going to say no. I can do that, I'm a Reed, and I can say a simple word like no. I've just got to make sure that I don't look into his beautiful eyes, or that he doesn't smile that wonderful smile because I might just weaken. On the other hand if I think of all the trouble he's got me into, that should bring me back to my senses.

I look up just as he enters the messhall and on seeing me walks in my direction, I can do this I can say no…just remember no.no.no.. no. I repeat it in my mind like a mantra. Suddenly he stands over me and smiles, just thinkno…no…no…no…He sits at the table and looks a little nervous.

"Malcolm, can I ask you something?"

Here it comes but I'll let him ask the question, although my mind is ready to say no…no…no…no.

"Would you like t' go on a date with me?"

I just stare at him for a moment, trying to remember to breathe, "What?"

"You know have dinner or somethin'?" He looks at me expectantly and I say the one word I know I should say.

"Yes."