As I lay in my quarters resting as per the doctor's orders I begin to think of the ordeal we have been through and my confidence in Hoshi's abilities is once again proven. I'm grateful she and T'Pol could communicate with the creature, but my thoughts turn to my best friend, the one person I thought I knew so well…until now. I know that I need to speak to him about what I saw…sensed…or whatever in his mind. It was a mere glimpse but I was stunned by the strength of the emotion—he loves me.

I decide to speak to him sooner rather than later and know that as Phlox has told us to rest for a few days, I would find him in.. Engineering. Trip Tucker has never been the sort of person who could rest or take things easy. He has to be doing something, a restless spirit some would say or, as he told me his mother called it 'ants in his pants', and I've known him long enough to know that when he has something on his mind, he's more restless than ever. Now is one of those times.

As I enter Engineering I look around at the hive of activity. I don't see Trip and at first think I may have been wrong until a crewman approaches me.

"Is there a problem Captain?"

"Um. no.. I was just looking for Commander Tucker."

"He's checking out the conduit over there, sir." The crewman points me in the direction of a panel, partially hidden by a console, and I see my friend, his head hidden in a recess. I thank the crewman and walk over to him and tap him on the shoulder. He jumps up startled and bangs his head on the edge of the opening.

"Shit!" He comes out, holding his head looking angry, "What's the."

"You okay?" I ask interrupting him, not sure whether I'm referring to the bump on the head or the events of the last few days.

"Yeah fine," he put his arm down, "Anything I can do for you Cap'n?"

"You're supposed to be off duty, resting."

"I am restin'," he looks awkward for a moment, "You know I can't just lay around in my quarters and there are a few things here I've been meanin' to do for some time, so I thought I'd catch up with them."

"They'll keep." I sigh, "We've been through a tough ordeal and I don't want my Chief Engineer going back to work before he's ready."

"But I am ready, I feel fine."

"We need to talk." I say and his posture stiffens.

"I am kinda busy here at the moment Cap'n, can't this wait?"

"No it can't." My words silence him, "Now Phlox told you to rest in your quarters, so let's go there." He looks a little surprised at this and I explain, "We need to have a long talk Trip and I don't want to be disturbed." He gives me a resigned nod and calls a crewman over, telling him to finish the maintenance that he had started and then precedes me out of Engineering.

As we walk into Trip's quarters I have to stop myself from smiling at the embarrassed look on his face. His quarters as usual are untidy and I shake my head when I think how organised his workstation in Engineering is.

"Sorry 'bout the mess." He mumbles as he picks up some of the clothes and PADDs that litter both the floor and bed, stuffing them into a corner.

"Can't you pretend this is an extension of Engineering, that way you'd keep it tidy."

"Tried that, didn't work." He smiles sheepishly then indicates the chair for me, whilst he sits on the bed. As I make myself comfortable, I hear him sigh; "This is about me losin' it in the cargo bay isn't it?"

"In a way." I answer slowly.

"Well, I'm sorry about that, but when that thing started pokin' about in our minds and I could tell what you were thinkin', I.." He trails off, looking down.

"How long have you been in love with me?" My question causes his head to snap up and he looks at me opened mouth, "I saw it in your mind and you know I did. That's why you panicked."

He stands up and paces the small room, rubbing his hands over his face. Then looking at me sighs. "For awhile."

"How long Trip and I want to know the truth."

"A couple of years." He sits back on the bed.

"Does anyone know?"

"No." he shrugs, "well Natalie suspected, that's one of the reasons we broke up. She always said that I wanted to spend more time with you than with her, " he laughs bitterly, "she said that you were the reason I wouldn't marry her."

"Is there any truth in that?"

"Some, I guess." He looks down at the floor, "I'm bisexual and although I've worked with some guys I would have liked to have had sex with, I suppressed those feelin's for the sake of my career. Don't get me wrong, the few relationships I've had with women were not entirely for appearance sake, I really loved Natalie and I do like sex with women, I just like it with men too. Unfortunately Natalie found that out and it didn't take her long to figure out that I had feelin's for you."

"How did that happen? I mean I had no idea."

"We had gone to a party, there was a guy there who was absolutely gorgeous. He kept looking at Natalie and whilst I was talkin' to some of the other guests he had started talkin' to her. I found them chattin' and getting' really friendly. Well long story short, we were all kinda drunk and we all ended up in bed together. I think Natalie thought it would be fun to have two guys makin' love to her and we did, but whilst she was sleepin', we were fuckin' each others brains out. It turned out he was bisexual too, but Natalie woke up to find her boyfriend's dick down someone else's throat."

"What did she say?" I can feel myself getting hard as I picture the scene of my best friend naked and in the throes of passion.

"She was surprisingly calm about it. The guy had got embarrassed and left, I think he thought Natalie would go mad at me and didn't want to stick around but she didn't. She said it had been a turn on and we ended up havin' some of the greatest sex we'd ever had." He pauses. "Then I got assigned to Enterprise."

"So would you have ever told me?"

"What that I love you?"

"Yes."

"Probably not." He smiles at me, "I know that you like women and I would never have wanted to make you feel uncomfortable around me, like you are now." He smiles at me as I fidget in my seat.

"You're wrong about that."

"Then why are you fidgetin'" He looks at me as I look down at my lap and realisation dawns in his blue eyes. "Looks like the Cap'n likes me talkin' dirty." He jokes and then sees the look of lust in my eyes.

"You're wrong about me just liking women, I've had a couple of male lovers in my time." I can see that I've surprised him and continue, "and as for the talking, I believe in actions speaking louder than words."

I stand up and close the small space to the bed, as he stands too. I gentle cup his cheek with my hand and he nuzzles into the caress, then I slowly move closer and kiss him tentatively. He slowly responds and opens his mouth, his arms come around me as our tongues duel for supremacy. I run my arms down his body to cup his ass and he pulls me back down onto the bed. His hands work their way underneath the T-shirt I'm wearing and my skin burns where he is touching me. I need to feel more of him and pull back so that I can look at him.

"Are we sure about this?" I ask, not believing that this gorgeous man had been harbouring feelings for me.

"Well I know I am." His flushed face searches mine and all doubt leaves my mind, as I lower my lips to his once again. Later, as I hold him in my arms after our lovemaking, my hand idly tracing patterns across his skin, I hear him chuckle. I look into his face and those beautiful eyes.

"What's so funny?"

"I was just thinkin'," he grinned.

"About?"

"Well it all makes sense now."

"What makes sense?" I'm starting to wonder what Trip's talking about.

"Why you like water polo so much, it's seein' those guys in wet trunks, water runnin' down their bodies." He grins again as his hand lowers to stroke my growing erection, ". they turn you on, don't they?" he asks mischievously.

"Oh God yes!" I admit, as his hand does wonderful things to me, suddenly I feel his body move and the feel of his mouth engulfing me. He starts to slowly trace his tongue along my length and I groan, resisting the urge to thrust into his mouth, he then starts to lick and suck my balls whilst his hand continues to pump me. I know I'm not going to last long and he seems to read my mind as his mouth once again covers me and I start to thrust into his mouth, my hands tangle in his hair. Then I feel myself explode into his mouth and I arch off the bed. I collapse back and look through half lidded eyes at my lover, who is grinning at me.

"I guess we're gonna have to watch more water polo," he says laughing.

"You're crazy," I laugh back.

"Yep that's why you love me." He looks seriously at me and I realise that despite what we've done, I haven't said it.

"Yes, I do love you Charles Tucker the Third." I finally admit it, pulling him into my arms and as I feel his body snuggle into mine, I slowly drift off to sleep.